So, I decided to throw a few treatment tips on here, for those of you looking at treating your child for his or her port wine stain (or, really, anything).

#1: If you bring your kid in for a laser treatment, or ANY treatment, in ANY medical setting, remember this: YOUR CHILD’S CONFIDENCE WILL REFLECT YOURS, SO CHOOSE YOUR ATTITUDE WISELY.

Think of your kid as a lake; you’re the sky. If you’re sunny and bright, they’ll reflect sun & brightness, too. If you’re cloudy & moody, they’ll turn grey & moody, too.

We see this all the time with kids at Children’s Hospital. Kids come happy, ready to play with the toys in the surgery waiting area, and within 10 minutes they’ve absorbed their parents’ tension and worry. They know Something Bad is coming. Something Scary. They’d better sober up and look serious.

Meanwhile, the kids with relaxed parents are carefree, having fun playing with toys and chatting up the nurses. I’m lucky that my husband, who was a stay-at-home dad for Addy’s first two years, is naturally relaxed and very social. So whenever he took Addy in for surgery or shots or anything stressful, he talked her through the whole process (even when she was a baby), straightforwardly counted to three to warn her of each shot (since surprise shots are NEVER good), laughed with her when they were over, and chatted with the medical people so that she could see him being at ease with all these medical strangers.

Knowing that we had a lot of treatments ahead of us, we couldn’t afford for her to be anxious in the medical world. It made a difference; Addy loves going in for treatments, since each one is An Occasion: they’re fun, they’re social, and she gets to play with new toys. She loves doctors and nurses. She talks to patients and personnel. She knows that Everyone is There to Take Care of Her.

A few months ago we ran into her pediatrician, Dr. Steelman, (whom she has seen for each pre-op appointment for every laser surgery since she was 5 weeks old, along with all of her normal well-child visits since she was born) at a restaurant. Surprised and excited to bump into him, her eyes widened and the first words to tumble out of her mouth were: “UNCLE STEELMAN!” That’s how much affection she has for her doctor.

Your child’s watching you, ready to reflect whatever face you present. Have fun with this. Nurse offers you guys some stickers? AWESOME!! A popsicle? BEST DAY EVER!!