Addy has officially started preschool! And aside from the normal mom-isms (“how did she grow up so fast?!”), I’m wondering: how should I handle her stain? She never seems to notice it; she never talks about it at home, she’s never asked us about it. She’s very matter-of-fact when it comes up indirectly (like putting cream on that side of her face after a treatment).
So… do I a) bring it up with her to pre-emptively deal with any potential classmates’ questions? Or b) do I stay mum and just wait for her to ask me?
I’m mildly concerned that if I say nothing, then I’m not preparing her well; after all, I don’t want her to be suddenly surprised by a barrage of questions without warning. (Fast-forward 15 years: “You threw me to the lions that day!”) On the other hand, if I do try to prepare her (like how? role-play? she’s 3…), then am I just planting seeds of worry, making a bigger deal of it than her classmates would?
When she started last Monday, I opted to stay mum. And after two days of preschool (she only goes twice a week), she still seems happy and well-adjusted. Excellent. But… should I still bring it up? After all, aren’t parents supposed to be the first ones to talk to their kids about stuff? “When they offer drugs, just say no.” “When they ask about your face, just say __.” Or does that just give the kid fodder for discussions with their therapist in 20 years?
Posted on September 18, 2011, in 3. Addy Stories & Experiences and tagged Parenting, School. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.
We were just discussing this and decided that if it was our 3 year old, we would do a pre-emptive discussion. We understand that you would be concerned about prematurely bringing this to her attention and thus making her self-concious. But the fact is that sooner than later (probably sooner) she will notice and others will say something (and even innocently!). I think it would be better if she knew she had your support when it comes up.
Maybe I would tell her how awesome and beautiful she is and that is how God made her and she was born that way. I think a 3 year old can understand that and tell other 3 year olds when they ask that she was born this way.
Whatever you decide, I feel sure that she can grow up confidant with her skin. She is so very blessed to have parents who are so thoughtful about her upbringing.