Dear readers, as you know, I’ve been writing about Addy’s unique face for over a decade — the feelings of being a new parent to an odd-looking child, the laser treatments with or without anesthesia, the social interactions with humor and grace, and more.

We recently had the opportunity to travel to London (from our home in the midwestern United States) and meet some of our dear blog readers IN PERSON!

These readers are, of course, fellow Port Wine Stain families, and I am SO excited to share the experience with you here.

One family traveled down from Edinburgh, Scotland with their beautiful daughter, Maia. She’s a lovely little girl whose stain, like Addy’s, covers a good portion of the right side of her face. Her port wine stain had just been treated that morning — hence the purple bruising you can see in these pictures.

Maia was a trooper! Even with cross-country travel AND a laser treatment that morning to boot, she sailed through dinner, dessert, and drinks with ongoing sweetness.

Maia charmed all of us.

In addition to Maia and her parents, we also had the immense privilege of meeting — in person! — Millie Amelia, whose own Port Wine Stain experience became its own post here. She traversed the city of London to join us after work (no small feat during rush hour!).

My own parents also joined us, as did Addy’s two siblings (our other two children, Eloise and Clarence). We all met up at a quintessentially British pub on Tottenham Court Road.

Our time together was rich. So, so rich.

It’s taken me some time to put it into words.

First, meeting in person felt like a family reunion.

It was as if we’d already known each other for years. We could feel our shared experiences without needing to figure out how to express them — experiences that are significant to us, but not common to everybody.

Maia’s parents were in good company with me and Keith as fellow parents (and even with Addy’s grandparents, too).

We’ve wondered how on earth to parent a little girl with a big blotch on her face, and keep her mentally healthy through it. We’ve pondered every angle of laser treatments, from the long-term effects of deep anesthesia to the scarring that powerful laser beams can cause on our darling daughters’ faces (which they definitely don’t need on top of their port wine stains!). And we’ve concluded that everything’s fine; these girls are fine. But it doesn’t stop us from thinking about All The Things. It’s what parents (and grandparents) do. That common ground was evident in our rich conversation.

Millie Amelia was in good company with Addy herself, as both of them are young ladies with big personalities; they also have lived the unique experience of being the only face in the room with a big blotch on it.

Millie shared with us that she’d covered her stain up with makeup for many years, and so her bare-faced confidence out in public was a relatively recent development. She and Addy have strikingly similar port wine stains — both on the right side of the face, along the V2 nerve and touching up to the forehead. Between their immediate common-ground understanding of each others’ life experiences and their similar appearance, they looked like they could have been sisters.

The pub was warm, cozy, and just crowded enough to feel festive. The food was comforting and good; we kept ordering one course after another: first some small bites… then, as we lingered, a full dinner meal… then, as we still lingered even more, a round of desserts… and then, after the grandparents had taxied back to the hotel and even the others had called it a night to get sweet Maia to bed, one more dessert as Millie and Addy continued their conversation at full speed like two sisters who haven’t seen each other in months and have SO MUCH to catch up on.

I lost count of how many times these young ladies would pause in the middle of their conversation, and stare at the other, saying, “Sorry, I just — it’s crazy — there’s someone here who looks LIKE me!”

Or, “I just can’t get over how there’s another face like mine at the table.”

Or, “It’s so weird to be with someone who looks LIKE me!”

Both of these young ladies were clearly affected by the presence of someone who looked just like them.

I hadn’t quite expected that.

At this point in the evening, only Keith and I remained at the pub with them (eating our second desserts). It was obvious to us that neither of them is terribly burdened by their port wine stains. They both enjoy looking different, and they’re accustomed to being unique. They’re used to being the odd face in the room, and they’re generally okay with that. They’re beautiful, confident, charming young women.

But that didn’t diminish the surprisingly profound impact of being in the room with someone who looks… like them. That was a new experience for both of them.

We’ve taught Addy over the years to find likeness in myriad ways. We’ve taught her to feel “like” another person with any similar trait, whether the trait is a similar hair style, same brand of shoes, matching article of clothing. We want her to feel “like” anyone and everyone, to push back any feelings of isolation that an odd-looking face might otherwise bring to her social encounters.

So it was a surprise to me that being in the presence of a face “like” hers affected Addy so profoundly. She was utterly delighted to find likeness — to find THIS likeness next to her, at the same table, looking JUST like her face.

“I can’t believe there’s someone else who looks like ME here!”

I heard many variations of that as the evening progressed, from both of these beautiful ladies.

When we finally called it a night, the pub was quiet with just a few lingering patrons, and the street was dark. Addy and Millie hugged as we departed, and we said we DEFINITELY need to do this again.

We will meet up again. After seeing the impact it had on these lovely, confident young women to be with someone else who looks “just like” them, I will be pondering new ways to meet up with new friends who also look uniquely similar.

It was, in short, a beautiful experience to meet these dear readers in person.

We thank Maia’s family for making the trip from Scotland to London (travel is never easy with a little one!). Keith and I SO enjoyed connecting with other parents in person who have thought and wondered and pondered and worried the same things we have; that’s an experience we won’t forget.

We thank Millie for making the trek across London to join us. The rest of us without port wine stains — parents, grandparents, siblings — loved connecting with this articulate young woman just a few years ahead of Addy, who could share her experiences with us.

Let’s do this again sometime.

We may live in the midwestern United States, but we’re not far from the airport, and we love to travel.

Email me at whathappenedtoherface@gmail.com to let me know where you and your port wine stain live, and we’ll gladly come celebrate it with you, too. It would be a privilege.